Tales from a downtown pub crawl

By: Jackie Michels

The sidewalk is filled with students in varying degrees of intoxication. The occasional puddle of vomit at the curb reminds me to watch where I walk -- or suffer the consequences. The all-too-familiar bars are obnoxiously noisy on this particular Saturday night, and somehow the thought of spending another evening on Water Street sounds more like medieval torture than a good time. Arming myself with $10.00, my ID, and a few friends, I begin my journey downtown for a change of pace and a few drinks with the Eau Claire locals.

10:06 PM: The Mousetrap Bar, 311 South Barstow Street

The Mousetrap is a red-carpeted hallway of a bar with plenty of room to sit and a jukebox chock-full of classic rock tunes. The nostalgia sets in with carpeted beige-green walls, a nice reminder of '70s style decorating, and continues with a Creedence Clearwater Revival song that fills the room below the chatter. The place is full (but not crowded), the drinks are cheap, and there is a dart board in the back. Neon beer signs hang around the bar, and the TV plays a basketball game in the corner. The bathroom is clean, featuring a large mirror opposite the toilet , just in case you have ever felt the need to have one there. Young Levi's-clad couples and groups of friends discuss the day's events, probably anxious to have a break from the kids for a few hours. Overall, the Mousetrap has a comforting feeling of unpretentiousness and ease. A nice starting place. But it's time to move on. Because this is, after all, a pub crawl. Grade: A-

Rail drinks: $2.25

Tap beer (mug): $1.25

11:22 PM: Clancy's Bar & Grill, 414 South Barstow Street

The Smashing Pumpkins are creating a wall of sound that explodes from the jukebox when we open the door to the crowded bar. The clientele here is a mix of young adults with multiple piercings and some middle-agers playing pool or attempting to have conversations through the noise. Bright tropical murals cover the walls, a symbol of tranquility not otherwise found at Clancy's - at least not tonight. But the drinks are served in large canning jars, adding to the eclectic atmosphere. This place gets bonus points for its cool decorations and bar glasses, but our crew votes to head on to somewhere we can hear ourselves think. On our way out, a sign on the door offers its gratitude, with bold letters reading "Thanks for dipping your beak." We may have to dip again - when there is some room. Grade: B

Rail drinks: $3.00

Tap beer (mug): $1.50

11:36 PM: The Uff Da Bar, 131 North Barstow Street

The Inflation Fighter, a life-size work of art resembling the Wizard of Oz's tin man, greets us at the door as a reminder of the bar's commitment to low prices. The eight patrons sitting at the bar (five men and two parents with their teenage daughter) greet us with stares and raised eyebrows. A fortyish man with old jeans and long, scraggly brown hair seems to contemplate how and why these four young people made their way here to have a drink. Johnny Cash's voice reverberates across the small, box-like room. Everything is brown: chocolate-colored walls, dark brown carpet, Formica-topped tables that look like wood, and dark, shiny bar stools. The heat vent over our table is pelting out hot air, and someone has left a package from Avon sitting behind the bar. Someone with a bit of Irish heritage has posted a sign which reads: "If you're lucky enough to be Irish, you're lucky enough." Feeling conspicuously non-Irish, or nonsomething, we make our way to the next locale. Grade: C

Rail drinks: $1.75

Tap beer (8 oz. glass): $.60

12:15 AM: The Diamound Lounge, 202 Gibson Street

The Diamound Lounge looks like your weird uncle's mismatched and sprawling basement, the one that used to both fascinate and scare you as a kid. Under the ceiling's rafters a group of striped couches surrounds a big-screen TV in the corner. A few pool tables sit near the bar, and large barrels that serve as tables are scattered throughout the room. Fake plants and lighted glass panels of bubbles are decorations that seem like they would be more at home in Las Vegas. But tonight, the effect is somehow interesting and amusing rather than obnoxiously tacky. Led Zeppelin and Janis Joplin are favorites on the jukebox, and the crowd, young and old, is having a good time. There's a dart board and a pinball machine against a wall near the TV, and a few people stop to look as a mountain biker brings his wheels into the bar to stop for a drink. I'm left wondering if this is any better than driving a car after a few drinks and decide it may be even more dangerous. Grade: B+

Rail drinks: $1.30

Tap beer (mug): $1.25

1:02 AM: Heading Home

We decide to head home after an eye-opening night far away from the hordes of students infesting Water Street. With $2.00 still in my pocket thanks to the Inflation Fighter, it was a fun and inexpensive night with the locals. We had a few good laughs and saw a new side of Eau Claire that was interesting in its own way. Hell, we even listened to some Johnny Cash and sang along to 'Stairway to Heaven.' How many times have you done that at Shenanigans?