“English” signs and notices around the world

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:

Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:

You are welcome to perambulate the corridors during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

Outside a Paris dress shop:

Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Ad by Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Ad for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today—no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In an Acapulco hotel:

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooler and heaters: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Coors translated its slogan, “Turn it loose” into Spanish where is was read as

“Suffer from diarrhea”.

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.”

Pepsi’s “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” translated into Chinese as
”Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave.”

Frank Perdue’s chicken slogan, “It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken”

translated into Spanish as “It takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.”

Parker Pen marketed a ball point pen in Mexico: “It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant”