Dead Man on Campus (bottom left) created the myth that if your roommate dies you get straight As.	Photo by Kylene Vessel

Toward the end of high school everyone is faced with that tough question—now what? For those of you thinking about college as a possible path to follow, there’s something you should know—it’s not like the movies.

Or at least, not exactly.

Here are a few myths “college” movies have presented.

Myth 1: If your roommate commits suicide you get automatic As.

This blatantly untrue myth is brought to you by the movie Dead Man on Campus. Sadly, even if you push your high-strung roomie over the edge, you still have to do the work.

Jodi Thesing-Ritter, associate dean of Student Development at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, said no grades are adjusted, but arrangements could be made to change assignment deadlines, excuse some absences, and file incompletes. Basically, the university will be supportive, but the work still has to be completed and evaluated.

“People might make jokes about how nice it would be,” Thesing-Ritter said, “but when it actually happens, I think the students just want that person back.”

Myth 2: Attending Classes

Ever notice how no one seems to go to class in the movies? Maybe you’ve heard that attendance isn’t even taken at college. Well, it turns out professors, whose salaries college students help pay, often require that you show up to listen to them. This is misleading. Tuition doesn’t begin to cover the cost of running a university. State funding from tax dollars is a significant portion. I know, I don’t get it either. Even at a Big Ten school like the University of Wisconsin-Madison professors have the power to require attendance and often do. Madison senior Marissa Pederson said attendance isn’t always taken in lecture classes, but often is in discussion classes.

Some classes also are hard to keep up with if you aren’t there. Ted Pokorny, a senior at St. Thomas University in Minnesota, said that his science professors don’t take attendance, but “if you miss one class you might as well drop.”

Myth 3: Drinking in the Dorms

Yes, college students drink. In fact, 48.8 percent of students are high-risk drinkers, according to the Core Institute survey of college drinking habits. The myth here is how causal and cool drinking in the dorms looks. Truthfully, it’s lame. Not at all like in the movies. UW-Eau Claire freshman Kevin McInerney has observed drinking in the dorms.

"You are walking down the hall and you hear ‘Dude, get in here! We got alcohol. Close the door,’” McInerney said.

Don’t get me wrong. Certainly there are good times with and without alcohol in the dorms and elsewhere, but the myth here gets a little complicated. Rarely will you see in a typical college movie the negative effects of drinking. This issue is explored in the documentary Spin the Bottle. Several educators in the movie maintained that the movie showed only the positives of drinking. College kids know there are a few, but the movies often leave out serious consequences like sexual assault and death, or even the minor consequences of puking or cleaning up the next day.

Myth 4: Fraternities and Sororities

They do exist, but fraternities and sororities are not like they appear in Animal House and other college movies.

Pokorny is vice president of the chapter of his fraternity at St. Thomas.

“There is no hazing. We’re not a bunch of cheesy guys who run around in robes in basements who get off by making younger people miserable. We’re a solid group of guys who genuinely care for each other,” he said.

Pokorny said the older fraternity brothers help out younger ones with their schoolwork, and watch out for each other for potential problems like depression and alcoholism.

McInerney said the frat boys who stayed at his house from his older brother’s frat surprised him when he was still in high school.

“They’re not the people you expect to be in frats,” he said. “They’re kind of nerdy.”

Myth 5: KY Wrestling

Remember the scene in Old School where they have KY wrestling? Well, simple economics tells us that isn’t possible, unless you have deep pockets that you’re willing to empty on shallow thrills. It would cost $1,591.80 plus shipping to buy the approximate seven gallons of off brand, clearance-priced personal lubricant needed to get primed and slimed. Hopefully you will never encounter people that desperate to get slippery and touch members of the opposite sex.

College can be a great time, but remember—you will spend loads of money to be there to get a degree. Don’t get sucked in by the movie magic.